


Maroon Looks Good on You

by FreckledSkittles



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, But also, First Kiss, Graduation, M/M, Post-Episode: s17e23 Heartfelt Passages, because I said so, this is my brand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28161498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreckledSkittles/pseuds/FreckledSkittles
Summary: Rafael has to remind himself why he came to Dominick “Call Me Sonny” Carisi, Jr.'s graduation. First, most obvious of all, he was invited.Second, it is a personal rule of Rafael Antonio Barba to never pass up an opportunity to show up to an event that requires some sort of professional attire and out-dress everyone.Third, and perhaps most important of all, if Rafael were to actually admit to it: he likes Sonny Carisi. More than coworkers. More than student-mentor—sacrilege to it, in fact.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 87





	Maroon Looks Good on You

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been in my head for a while and in my surge to get to 100 fics, this fic demanded that I get it out to the people of Barisi nation so here we are!!! Rafael and Sonny are gross and in love and I'm not gonna tell them otherwise
> 
> Btw if you wanna see updates about my writing or just want some mindless Barisi et al content, you can check out my Twitter! @freckledskittle (I'm a hot mess but only sometimes)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!! <3

Fordham University’s Commencement Ceremony is held outside on the main campus’s lawn. There’s an atmosphere surrounding the campus that can only be identified as exhaustion, with the half-awake throng of college students most likely fueling the source. Rafael pities the students for the weight they’ve had to carry for approximately four years that will only get heavier when they try to apply for jobs or struggle to pay any accrued debt. Some of them may have had support from scholarships securing their entire ride, just as he did, but those who were unfortunate might not have the same luck, just as he feared for much of his childhood and even into high school.

Rafael Barba isn’t dressed any particular way, although he did choose a maroon tie embroidered with gray swirls that resembled rams’ horns, and the teal pocket square that had the perfect balance of green and blue was chosen to compliment the maroon. Although, he had mused while tying the slip of maroon into a trinity knot, it is a difficult color to ruin. Neither the teal pocket square nor the gray dress shirt that glistened with thin silver stripes in the right light, nor the mustard yellow suspenders that were specifically aligned with green to mimic sunflowers, were threatening a fashion disaster. He’s simply dressed for the graduation of a coworker—perhaps a student previously mentored, if the butterflies in his stomach would relax every time their fingers brushed together or their eyes made contact—and took a day off work for it to ensure that his full attention would be on this day and nothing else.

Because Dominick “Call Me Sonny” Carisi, Jr. is graduating from law school. At last, the moaning of night school and the unsolicited law advice are justified. He is Dominick Carisi, Jr., Esquire, and Rafael couldn’t be prouder.

If he were to acknowledge the more than unprofessional feelings that had been clamoring inside him for the better half of a year. Or even if he were to accept that he and Carisi—Sonny, he feels inclined to add, because “Dominick” sounds much too harsh and stern for a man like him, especially on a day like today—were two halves of a pair that could do with a discussion on why last names don’t feel like the proper title now, or why the long gazes they used to catch are no longer acceptable and are now met with stares that last even longer. Rafael’s just keeping all of that to himself for now.

The ceremony for the Law School is taking place after the general commencement, when the different schools will split and have their students’ diplomas certified. Rafael was invited to both ceremonies, one of which required a ticket, but in the group text with the rest of the SVU squad, it is important that they all get there early to find their seats and to meet the clan of Carisi, “never hard to miss but better to meet before they get too excited for me to notice any of you.”

From across the lawn, Rafael spots Olivia and Sergeant Dodds, both dressed in a way that suggests they plan on returning to work immediately after the ceremony but still put in an effort to try and look good. Rollins and Fin might not have even given it a second thought. Amaro would have joined them if he hadn’t been needed for an event at his daughter’s school at the same time. As he makes his way over to them, Rafael identifies Carisi’s family almost immediately. Bella, the youngest of the bunch if he recalls, and her boyfriend—no, husband now, he remembers when Carisi attended their wedding—Tommy are easy to spot. The two older sisters, Teresa and Gina, resemble Bella and Sonny in that they are closer in age and, therefore, bear a striking resemblance to one another that is not as matched by the other half of their siblings. And even from a few feet away, Rafael can read the Carisi parents easily: the smiles and energy from Mrs. Carisi and the tenderness and build from Mr. Carisi, Dominick Sr., form a flawless dichotomy for their only son.

Olivia spots Rafael first and makes a beeline for him. She and Dodds, who watches her walk over, are the only ones who notice he’s arrived. She greets him with a hug and a smile that can be heard in her voice. “You look nice.”

“As if I don’t already look this good?” He counters.

Olivia laughs and gestures to her neck. “You don’t usually knot your ties like that.”

“I can think of a few times.” He glances over at the Carisi’s, caught in the middle of a conversation with Rollins. Carisi had said they would talk to anyone within arm’s reach if given the opportunity. He might be the relief the squad needs. “I’m surprised no one’s passed out from exhaustion. Carisi said his family could talk.”

“We’re just barely managing, I’d say,” Olivia teases with a mock sigh. “Mike and I haven’t gotten the brunt of it like Amanda and Fin. He thinks it’s because they’re waiting for someone to arrive.”

Rafael pretends he didn’t hear that last part and heads over to the Carisi’s. There’s no doubt that Carisi talked about him—aside from the times he’s mentioned it, and the obvious fact that Sonny is a person who would tell his family about a stray dog he met as if it had been an old friend—but it couldn’t have been any more than the extension of their relationship outside of work. Which, Rafael muses, is not far at all and still involves work.

As they walk over, Mrs. Carisi looks over and beams, waving at them with the same enthusiasm Rafael has seen stretch out from her son. It would be overwhelming if he hadn’t been expecting some type of family semblance to come out of them, especially after trying Tommy Sullivan’s case the year before. Once he’s close enough, Mrs. Carisi takes his hands and squeezes them. She’s a small, round woman who gives off the air of someone who can take a person down and invite them to Sunday dinner in the same breath. Her eyes, Rafael notes, are a deeper shade than Sonny’s but just as sincere.

“You must be Rafael Barba,” she says, her smiling growing when he nods. “I’m Christine, Sonny’s mother. He says you’ve been a big influence ever since the school year started, letting him shadow you and giving him pointers. Thank you for helping him.” She squeezes his hands a bit tighter, for just a second, and releases them. “He’s wanted this for so long, but he never thought the job would let him, and now that he’s graduating, it’s been harder for him to accept that this is real. But,” Mrs. Carisi sighs, “that’s Sonny for you. If it weren’t for people like us in his life, he’d probably psyche himself out and drop out.”

Rafael swallows around the lump in his throat and manages a smile at the woman. He’s stuck between focusing on how easily she ropes him in with the rest of the family and the praise that Carisi attached onto his name when talking to his family. It’s not a surprise in the way that Carisi talks about him—or anyone important to him, for that matter—but Rafael is taken aback at seeing how much Carisi might have shared with his family. Did they beg for details like Lucia had, or teased him about a schoolyard crush like Rita still does (not even an hour after waking up, no less), or wonder how much time they’ll take before discussing what their relationship has grown into? Which Rafael is completely certain the squad has done on more than one occasion.

No matter, Rafael tells himself, he should be more focused on entertaining the Carisi family until they see Sonny after the ceremony.

“It’s been my pleasure to work with Sonny,” Rafael says with a small smile he can’t hold back. “He’ll make for an amazing lawyer if he ever decides to go down that path.”

Christine hums at that. “I hope so. And not just because his job makes me so nervous sometimes. He’s always been so bookish, and as much as he enjoys working out in the field, I know he wants to use his mind more than his legs.”

Mr. Carisi butts in with a soft laugh; “Christine, you’re projecting again.”

Christine slaps his chest and scowls. “He told me himself, Dom! Not everyone is made for that type of life. He’s always wanted to have an armchair sort of profession.”

Mr. Carisi rolls his eyes fondly and reaches out a hand for Rafael to shake. “Dom, the Sr. to Sonny’s Jr. I second what my wife said about you helping him. Sonny admires you.”

“Oh, now who’s projecting?” Christine teases Dom with a jab on the arm. “When did Sonny talk about his admiration?”

There’s a soft tug on his shoulder and Rafael glances behind him to find Bella Carisi, hair pulled away from her face but still billowing over her shoulders, smiling and nodding him to the rows of chairs a few feet away. “Ceremony’s about to start. My sisters are sitting down if you wanna introduce yourself. It’s better for you to talk to them now before they do anything embarrassing.”

Rafael smirks at that. “Embarrassing for the family or for Sonny?”

Bella laughs as she leads him and her parents to their seats. Dom and Christine sit at the end of the row, followed by the two sisters and Bella’s husband Tommy, who had his and Bella’s child sitting on his chest. Rafael is snug between Bella and Olivia, who is seated with the rest of the squad beside her. Bella makes sure that Rafael goes ahead of her and is seated before she leans over her husband to get her sisters’ attention.

“Teresa, Gina,” Bella announces with a sharp poke to match, and she gestures to Rafael beside her, “this is Rafael Barba, Sonny’s coworker.”

Upon hearing his name, the farther sister’s eyes light up; the sister closer to them straightens up and gives him a grin that looks like she knows a bit more than Rafael realizes. He’s terrified of both of them.

“The lawyer,” the latter says and winks at him. “I’m glad we can put a face to the name. Sonny doesn’t shut up about you.”

“Shut up,” Bella grumbles.

The sister farthest away has a bit of a kinder smile to share, but her voice teeters on the edge that the other sister has delved into; “Thanks for coming.”

Bella leans over her husband once again to whisper something at her sisters, who only cackle at whatever she has to say. Tommy looks between the two sides before he looks over and gives him a curt nod. “It’s good to see you again, Mr. Barba.”

Rafael returns the nod. “You as well.” He glances down when he sees the small bundle held close to Tommy’s chest shuffle against him. “And congrats on the baby.”

Tommy Sullivan had struck Rafael as a person riddled with general anxiety, constantly wondering if he was doing wrong and trying his best. He might mess up easily but he was well-intentioned, and even if he and Bella were an interesting dichotomy beside one another, he loved her with his entire being and the feeling was mutual. When Tommy looks at the baby on his chest, that anxiety vanishes and is replaced with a serene energy that can only come from the smallest reminder of a loved one being nearby. “Theodora, after my grandmother. We call her Taffy. She was up bright and early for Sonny today.”

“Her favorite uncle,” Bella adds, leaning over to touch Tommy’s cheek and peck their child on the head. Rafael’s heart goes tender for a brief moment before he hardens it out and focuses on the start of the ceremony.

There’s nothing particularly exciting about the ceremony itself—no college graduation is, Rafael decided that long ago. They go on for too long and they don’t have a purpose outside of recognizing four or more years of hard-earned and half-assed work with a handshake and the delivery date of their actual diplomas. Rafael has to remind himself why he came here when the names are finally being called out. First, most obvious of all, he was invited. Not just for the general commencement but for the diploma ceremony itself. Carisi sounded more excited about that than the actual commencement. He was only doing this so that the rest of the squad could come. Only a certain amount of people were allowed for that, and a ticket was required. Rafael had that ticket burning a hole inside his suit pocket, right against the left side of his chest.

Second, it is a personal rule of Rafael Antonio Barba to never pass up an opportunity to show up to an event that requires some sort of professional attire and out-dress everyone. He will never say “no” to wearing the suit that best compliments his figure and combining different colors to stand out as loudly as possible. The number of events he’s RSVP’d to with the sole purpose of flaunting his style is immeasurable. He’s had to face bureaucratic small talk and lawyers struggling to discuss non-lawyer things just to raise his head a little bit higher and show off how effortlessly his tie matches his shirt, suspenders, and socks.

Third, and perhaps most important of all, if Rafael were to actually admit to it: he likes Sonny Carisi. More than coworkers. More than student-mentor—sacrilege to it, in fact. The “like” that shares fries at the beach and blankets on movie night. The “like” that finds excuses to be near him, for just a moment longer, to have one more second within a finger’s touch. The “like” that turns his cheeks red and rumbles in his stomach and tries to make that “like” turn into a “love.” It’s terrifying and exhilarating and addicting.

When Carisi’s name is called and he walks across the stage, their row erupts in raucous celebration, mostly from the family. Tommy and Bella help their daughter clap for her uncle, though she barely looks fazed and just continues sucking her knuckles. Amanda and Fin whoop as Mike whistles sharply between his fingers; he’s been practicing that for weeks now. It’s good to see it finally paying off. Carisi is beaming at them even as he shakes the president’s hand. Rafael knows he wouldn’t be looking only at him, but either way, he can’t resist smiling back. For all the trouble he gave him, for all his teasing quips and jabs, he is incredibly proud of how far Carisi has come. And with only a few extra gray hairs to match the swoop taking over the dark blond atop his head.

The ceremony wraps up quicker than Rafael expected, though it may have felt that way because he’s a few steps closer to getting the chance to talk to Carisi. He has to congratulate him, of course, perhaps inform him of the present that’s on its way—a nameplate that reads “Sonny Carisi, Esquire” in maroon ink and engraved in a fancy font, something he can have to show off his degree and still be subtle about it. Any normal thing that happens after a graduation ceremony. Nothing that would indicate how much Rafael actually wants to grab Sonny by his gown and kiss him. The thing accommodates for his height but is a bit billowy when he moves. It may just be the way Carisi swings his legs, but Rafael tries not to focus on details like that.

It’s gotten a bit warmer as the morning progresses, so once the ceremony ends and they’re standing in wait for Carisi to find them, Rafael folds his jacket and drapes it over his arm. He abandoned the vest, as sharp as it made him look with the entire ensemble, to have less layers on him in case he felt too hot. The squad instantly notices his attire, giving him the perfect opportunity to turn and show off the thin silver pinstripes of his shirt, the deep maroon of his tie and the knot against his throat, and the mustard yellow suspenders. Especially the suspenders.

“Those are interesting colors,” Rollins remarks once he’s done showing off. “I didn’t think they’d go together.”

“Sounds like jealousy,” Fin teases and looks back to Rafael when Rollins sputters in shocked offense. “You look sharper than usual, Counselor, but that’s probably not saying much, since you’d probably dress like that to flex on a defense attorney.”

Rafael preens internally at the praise—he absolutely would and he absolutely will—and smirks. “I appreciate that, Fin. Thank you.”

“Fin knows a thing or two about suits,” Olivia pipes in. Almost instantly, Fin rolls his eyes. “When he first came to SVU, he wore them every other day.”

Rafael raises both eyebrows. “So the legends are true. I’ve only heard of the days where SVU was able to put more into their appearance and looked good.”

“They wouldn’t be legends if it wasn’t so damn hard to keep up with,” Fin frowns. “It’s no wonder John sticks with black.”

Bella, who had been listening in on the conversation, interjects, “John is your partner, right? Sonny said you were with someone who was in the squad before him.”

A fond smile, small but brimming with admiration, appears on Fin’s face. “Being partners at work wasn’t enough for him. He wanted it to be legal too.”

“Don’t make it sound like you didn’t want to,” Rollins prods his shoulder. “We all know how much you love him.”

Bella giggles; her daughter reaches for her, and she and Tommy do a hand-off while barely looking at one another. Rafael catches the baby eyeing his suspenders and takes a cautious step back, just in case she decides to grab it. “That’s sweet that you two met at work! Tommy and I met because of mutual friends, but Sonny always ended up dating anyone in his close proximity. His first big relationship was with this boy who volunteered with him at the library to earn community service hours for confirmation.”

Rafael is unfazed by the content of Bella’s comment, specifically the boy Sonny had dated. Not only is it not his business, they already had a discussion on their sexualities. He was aware of Sonny’s bisexuality as much as Sonny was aware of his being queer. And yet, Rollins and Fin reel back as if scalded by fire. “Boyfriend?” Rollins asks.

The look of fear that crosses over Bella’s face can only be described as someone who might have outed someone who has yet to come out. “He said he told you guys. I’m sorry!”

“He did tell us,” Dodds interjects. “He’s talked about being bi with us.” Rollins and Fin look at him; a look of resigned acceptance washes over Fin but Rollins stays tense. Rafael is glad Olivia missed this conversation, too focused on whatever Teresa and Gina had been saying to her. Honestly, it was almost two years since he started working with them and he just graduated law school. The least the squad could do was pretend they were interested in Carisi’s personal life.

A moment later, a flurry of excitement breaks over the small group as Carisi finally appears within eyesight. Rafael loses him to the group hug his family wraps around him, but he can still hear his identifying giggle as proof that he’s alive. Their words are a combination of compliments and teasing jibes that emphasize how proud they are of their son and brother. It softens Rafael up, just the slightest bit, to know he is cherished and loved so much.

The family parts at Carisi’s insistence, and his eyes zero in immediately on Rafael. He feels the breath leave his lungs, ripped out by the warm blue gaze. Carisi—Sonny can be talented with words, but he best conveys emotions through his actions. A tilt of his head, a shift from one leg to another, a jut of his hips and the small quirk of his lips. Everything about his body language right now—the flaring heat within his eyes, the quick stride to stand in front of him, the twitch of his fingers so close to his but not quite private enough to reach for them, the confident posture of a recent graduate combined with the shy shuffle of his feet—is only for Rafael. And Rafael knows this because in the few steps he takes to stand before him, Sonny barely looks at the rest of the squad, merely sharing congratulations and the occasional shoulder touch or smile. The real reaction is for him.

“Glad you could make it, Counselor,” Sonny finally says. His voice is a rhythmic rumble that quickly becomes the only sound Rafael can hear. Rafael hangs onto every word in case it stops and leaves him with nothing but a memory of what it might have been. He needs every inch of his words and every cut of his breath. “I heard you were a little late.”

Rafael smirks at the coy invitation for a light bit of banter. “Fashionably, of course,” he mock-sighs. “I had to dress accordingly.”

“I see that.” Sonny looks him up and down twice. It shouldn’t feel so hot. “You look good, of course.”

“Thank you.” Rafael gives him the same once-over, and then again for good measure, zeroing in on the graduation gown still neatly creased and covering him. It is a bit baggy despite being the perfect length for his insanely lengthy limbs, but it’s a more endearing touch than a real complaint. Rafael couldn’t gripe about it if he tried. “Maroon looks good on you.”

Sonny chuckles. “Didn’t you say once that maroon looks good on everyone?”

“So you  _ have _ been listening to me. All this time, I thought you were phoning it in when I gave you good advice.”

“I listened. More than you probably know.” And then Sonny’s attention is ripped away from him, ice cold and leaving nothing but a shiver running down his back. The rest of the squad reminds him of their presence and delivers their congratulations—the typical notions of how proud they are, how happy, how much they anticipate his legal jargon even more now that he’s a certified lawyer. Rafael shouldn’t be so pressed about losing Sonny’s attention—it’s his graduation day, after all, and Rafael was not the only one invited.

Rafael is also broken out of his mental rut when a small pair of hands reach for him. He backs away with a look of disbelief as Bella laughs and adjusts her hold over Theodora, who is still staring intently at his suspenders. “Sorry, she wants to hold everything she sees,” Bella says. “She probably wants to touch them but I’d rather not in case she stains something.”

“I appreciate it,” Rafael states, keeping his eyes on Theodora as he adjusts the straps of his suspenders and rolls his shoulders. Babies were so confusing. Who would want a human that requires even the simplest thing to be done for them? What are people supposed to do with them?

Bella gives Theodora a kiss on the cheek; Taffy shrieks and hops in her mother’s arms. Tommy holds out a ring with different key-shaped objects dangling from it and the tot takes it gleefully, gnawing on the ring. Bella nods to her brother, who is currently demonstrating some wild story to Dodds and Fin. “He admired you, y’know.”

Rafael adjusts his jacket, still draped over his arm, and snorts. “I’ve noticed. He doesn’t like to hide it.”

“I don’t mean it like that. Well,” she tilts her head and glances up, “maybe a little. But that’s not what I was referring to.” Her stare is as fiercely blue as Sonny’s but for the opposite reasons. It reads like ice, floating in the Arctic and having more to its shape than what’s on the surface. And holding her daughter—an action that is so simple for a parent like her—who could care less about them only makes it terrifying. “He talks about you a lot. More than the rest of his squad.”

“Oh.” Rafael hopes the searing burn of his cheeks isn’t as noticeable as it feels. There’s not much he can play it off as if she sees it.

Bella continues without missing a beat. “My sisters and I think he could get himself hurt if he’s not careful. He’s always sharing his emotions without thinking about what will happen if he gets called out for them. Teresa and Gina say he’s just being Sonny when he does that, but I think he’s trying to do something else.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder so that Theodora doesn’t tangle it with her fingers. “Like getting someone to notice him.”

Rafael expected a wave of realization to hit him, perhaps shake him into seeing what he’s felt for Sonny coming from the man himself. But it never happens; Rafael remembers the moments he’s had with Sonny where they got a bit too close, where their banter was much too comfortable for coworkers, where he wondered beyond the relationship they had if Sonny was doing alright, if he was taking care of himself, if he was eating regularly, just as much as Sonny did for him. The realization is more acceptance of what he suspected: Rafael enjoys Sonny and the time they share together, even if most of it is impersonal and even if he thinks they deserve more personal time.

Theodora starts getting fussy, so Tommy and Bella trade baby supplies for baby. Sonny notifies them that the law school diploma ceremony is starting soon, right as the SVU squad starts to say their goodbyes and they start to move to the auditorium for the ceremony. Dodds is the most visibly reluctant to leave—of course, because he and Sonny have gotten so close since Dodds joined—but there are congratulations from the others as they split. Rafael watches Sonny wave goodbye and move closer to him in just two steps. Blue eyes fall on him, piercing straight through him like an arrow.

“Thank you for coming,” Sonny says. Rafael’s face burns with how sincere and grateful he looks, eyes shining and lips upturned in a gentle smile.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Rafael says back, keeping his eyes in front of them. “I’m glad I had the opportunity to watch you transform from some scrawny law student into a lawyer.”

“C’mon,” he looks away, and Rafael glances up to see his own face glowing red, “I passed the bar, I haven’t actually practiced anything.”

“You’re a lawyer to me. With the work you’ve put in and the advice you’ve offered…” Rafael trails off to try and think of something else to say, maybe something that wouldn’t show off his admiration, but Sonny is speaking with an amused grin and a laugh before he can.

“So you  _ did _ think it was advice.”

Rafael chuckles with him. He doesn’t have the time to think of something witty to say, and as fast as he can work to deny it, he finds himself purposely letting the feeling die down. If Sonny has been spouting his feelings for Rafael, then perhaps Rafael has been just as obvious about how Sonny makes him feel. And if he hasn’t, there’s no better time to start than now. “There was some good found from the legal knowledge you fired at me. Whether or not anything came from it…”

Sonny rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sure you mean it.”

Rafael looks over at him, finally making eye contact. The shine of his eyes is impossibly sincere, more than he deserves and more than he can handle from one person. He would take a step back if the affection wasn’t holding him in place. “All joking aside,” he steals a glance at the Carisi family walking beside them, the sisters and brother-in-law in their own conversation and the parents watching them, “you have a lot of promise.”

Sonny—Carisi halts so that he can properly look at him. His parents must have been paying attention more than he thought, because both Christine and Dom turn to look at them. Carisi waves them on, barely sparing them a second glance. “We’ll meet you in Lombardi. Don’t worry about us.” His parents share a look between them but Rafael doesn’t pay attention to their retreating forms. Standing on the sidewalk, situated between the lawn they had just been and the gymnasium on the opposite side of the road, is the only thing he can focus on. He watches Carisi—Sonny—lick his lips, hands perched on his hips, and let out a long sigh. “Counselor—Barba—”

“You can call me Rafael.”

Sonny’s eyes flicker with interest at that but he continues with a nod. “Rafael, across the four boroughs I’ve been to, you’re the first one who took the time to listen to what I had to say and at least consider my suggestions. The others just thought I was interfering in their job and didn’t give me a chance. Even here, it was difficult to feel accepted. But you…” Sonny smiles and bows his head, “Even when I was a pain in the ass, even when  _ you _ were a pain in the ass, you at least listened to me.”

“You weren’t kidding when you said you passed the bar because of the time you spent with me,” Rafael muses under his breath. Sonny makes a face similar to the one he had made in that moment—a shy smile, a glance away, eyes shining with something unsaid, something that Rafael didn’t let him utter. “What were you going to say? When you first told me that?” He continues when Sonny just looks at him, puzzled by the question. “You started to say you admired me, but you never said what for.”

“Right,” Sonny suddenly laughs, “you sorta answered for me, right? Mister suicidal streak?”

Rafael shrugs. “I still stand by it. I’ve proven how accurate that is a long time ago.”

Sonny snorts. His cheeks tint a pretty pink, like roses that have started to bloom. “I mean, what’s there to not admire? You’re bright, you’re witty, you talk fast and walk faster. The confidence you radiate,” he shakes his head, “god. And the fact that you let me shadow you that one time, and you treated me like your co-counsel—for the first time, I felt like I belonged.”

Rafael tries to cover up his sharp inhale with a roll of his shoulders and by clearing his throat. He tries to predict what will happen next, his mind rushing to fill in the blanks, but his head is empty. Sonny has eradicated any possibility of critical thinking with just a single glance his way. What power one man can hold over him.

The morning sun hits Sonny from behind, casting him in an ethereal glow that makes him look like a being crafted from sunlight. That name he claims as his own—Sonny—could have been from a number of things. The typical reference to his Italian heritage or being the junior to his father’s name. The light he brings with his smile. The strong attraction he has of all things good and pure—which should not be possible for a human being. People are flawed, deeply, often colored in a gray moral area. But Sonny manages to make his flaws look good, taking his brash attitude and eager-to-please-anyone-with-a-pulse energy and morphing them into a natural part of being alive. He absorbs sunlight like he was made for it. The way his eyes glow in the light, the gentle sheen dusting over the coif he has styled, ruffled just slightly from the graduation cap he still holds. The gown itself, billowing from a slight breeze, the rich maroon complimenting his skin and making him all the more attractive.

“Maroon looks good on you,” Sonny suddenly blurts out. Rafael realizes his eyes are on his neck, and then his eyes, and then his lips. And he can’t take it anymore.

Sonny blinks once, smiles, and reaches over to take his hand. Rafael swats it away so that he can kiss him—Sonny tastes sweet and warm like a fresh pastry, bitter and sharp like coffee, and smells like earthy herbs. The kind that probably sits on his windowsill for use in his cooking, using recipes passed down from Italian generations. He probably named them too, thanking them for supplying fresh basil and making sure to use each leaf.

Rafael presses against him, feeling the soft hitch of his breath and the rumble of soft laughter, and melts into his arms. Sonny’s hand scrunches at his back for just a moment before releasing, almost conscientious of wrinkling his shirt but thinking otherwise. The heat from the late morning sun is incomparable to the warmth Sonny radiates, refreshing and rejuvenating as if he had been thrown into a bath. Rafael suddenly doesn’t want to leave his arms, just stand here and kiss him until they’re out of breath and his knees give out.

“So,” Sonny chuckles as they part, licking his lips and grinning, eyes brimming with glee, “is this really why you came today?”

Rafael falls against him to stifle his laughter, hands gravitating to Sonny’s hips. Sonny’s arms wrap around him and tug lightly on the back of his suspenders, right where the straps meet. “I wouldn’t say I’m that rude,” Rafael says. “What happened to admiring me?”

“I’m taking a break for now. My mind’s a little foggy.”

Rafael leans back to look at him, and Sonny steals another kiss, asking him in a soft whisper and surging forward when he gets approval. Their lips make a quiet  _ pop _ when they separate, barely audible but caught all the same. “I wonder why.”

Sonny’s eyes soften. Rafael nearly screams at how weak his heart flutters. “When I said I admired you, I meant it. You’ve done a lot for me, probably more than I can say. And I really appreciate you letting me mentor you all this time.”

Rafael smiles, reaching up to brush a strand of Sonny’s hair off his forehead. “I don’t think I’m much of a mentor to you nowadays. I haven’t felt like it for a while.”

“Oh?” Sonny tilts his head, inches away from kissing him again. How he holds himself back, with the amount of desire flowing out of his gaze, Rafael can only guess. “So what would that make us now?”

Rafael smirks. He could think of a few things. Maybe when there’s no one with lips asking to be kissed, asking to kiss him, he can voice them.


End file.
